I really think God has it out for me. The winter has been so mild - almost like a cold spring. The skies have been so clear. Dad would have loved to be flying on these days. I am finding myself more and more miserable and it just really sucks.
I have so much to be happy for. I know people lose their parents all of the time, but I look at our baby and think of how much dad loved this age and poor Kaden will never get to know him. He will never get to know what it feels like to run and hug his Pappy who would want nothing more than a hug from him.
Lucas has been saying "I miss Pappy." a ton lately and I don't know what to say other than so do I buddy, so do I.
It doesn't help that I really and truly think I am depressed. Having a very difficult baby, losing my dad, dealing with the business, going back to work, fighting with my husband constantly, an 8 year old that he morphed into attitude mania and I really just want to crawl in a hole and cry.
I hoped typing would help get it out, but really my thoughts are so jumbled I can't get it all out. I need a shrink.
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