11/12/13

Really, really, really missing my dad right now.

And wondering why life choices get to be dictated by others.  That really bothers me.  My life is not the way I want it to be or thought it would be is a better way to word that, because of choices others made.  I think that's pretty damn unfair.  And hurtful.  But knowing life isn't fair, and people will always make their own selfish choices whether they directly effect others or not, is a part of life.

Sad today.  Sad a lot of days lately.  With my dad's death day anniversary, the burial anniversary, the holidays coming, Kaden making major life strides.  Logan and Lucas wanting to share things with him.  Taking the kids to the cemetery, it might just kill me inside.  But as always, I will smile.  I will struggle, but I will make it.

11/12/13.  What a neat date.  What a neat date to wake up and get ready for work.  Have a two year old poop out of his diaper with diarrhea and have to scrub him and the kitchen floor to be late for work.  What a day to realize that loving someone can't be a one way street and somethings will just never change.

Happiness.  Within myself and my children.  Always.